The Airport Match-Up Game

I'm always baffled by the person that matches your ID to your boarding pass before you go through airport security.

They look you straight in the eye, so apprehensive.

'What's this guy trying to pull over on me now?', says their eyes. Literally their eyes talk and say that.

They hold the ID up two inches from your face. Matching. Hmmm.

'Well, that used to be me,' I always quip.
They're never amused. Who would be? They don't care, they're busy sleuthing.

Matching names, streets, numbers. This is a serious and important situation, I know.

Then, once you've passed the Matching Face and Name game all is well in the cosmos. But don't get too excited because then they whip out their pen and just start marking shit up.

They circle your name. 'There's his name, let's circle that.'

They circle your flight number. 'Gotta get the flight number. Boom. There it is.'

Then a massive slash through the whole thing. 'Ya know what? Screw it, this needs one of these.'

They draw a goose in the corner. 'I've been practicing.'

It's not like the person at the gate is gonna look at this ticket, not let you through initially, then stumble upon the child-like markings bestowed upon your ticket by Billy the Kid at security and pass ya on.

This chicken-scratch, it means nothing.

Circle around my name? A massive X over the whole thing?

As long as my ticket beeps when they board me, it doesn't matter what my name is, or how many games of tic-tac-toe ya play on my boarding pass.
Justin Claus HarderComment