Just Buy It

So, I went through my bank statements the other day and I realized something. I blow my cash on badass shit. Check out the compilation below and if you're not T in the P* afterward, check your pulse, bitches, cause you mights be, like, lame or something.
Here's a list of purchases from last month alone. Kiss off.

Sleeveless gym shirt with nickname embroidery
Protein cakemix
4 Gym memberships
Personal trainer
Personal cook
Personal cook/trainer
Personal wiper
Semi-personal fluffer
Calf implants
Butt implants
Tricep mold
Pec bounce training
Hair piece
Mouth piece
Cod piece
Botox nose
Botox eyes
Botox botox
Tight shirts
Tight shirt with skeleton glued to it
Tight shirt with live snake stapled to it
Tight shirt with a bedazzled eagle netted to the back
New shoes
Old shoes
New shoes that look like old shoes
Golden earrings
Golden showers
Pierced eyebrows
Shaved eyebrows
Fist pumps
Steak dinners
Steak breakfasts
Client luncheons
Client stripshows
Western style
Eastern style
Steel wheels
Spinnier rims
Rub downs
Hot rub downs
Hot rub downs while watching a flat screen
Hot rub downs while watching a flat screen playing a commercial I’m in

All this sweet purchasing will stop once I get a wife, kids(sp?), mortgage, hedge clippers, lawn mower, pleated slacks and tee times, but for now, it’s time to burn 'dem dollies.
Shut up, Stuff it, Turn around, Don't look at me, Sincerely,

*Tight in the Pants