My Old 'American Greetings' Cards

I interned at American Greetings in Cleveland, Ohio after my junior year at Ringling College of Art and Design in the summer of 2002. While I was there, I drew 21 cards that ended up getting made and sold on the shelves at your favorite Targets, Wal-Marts and Walgreen's. You probably never saw any of them, however, as my Mom bought them all. From every store. In every state.
Anywho, we would get a joke/thought to draw each morning and were expected to have a final full-color card done at the end of the work day. Front, inside and back.
I usually drew the writer's jokes. But I heard that the only way to get your initials on the fronts of the cards was to illustrate the card AND write it.
SO, I started writing some cards and submitting on a daily basis.
About 5 of my written cards got passed. The other 30 or so, did not.
Here are a few of those cards that didn't make the cut.

I don't know what I like more, Birthdays or Anniversaries.
I get presents on both, and they're usually both equally naked. So it's a toss up.

Front: (image:dude on deserted island, sitting next to lone palm tree. Monkey is in palm tree)
Guy: 'BABY! I'd do ANYTHING to hold you right now!'
Don't resort me to spankin' the monkey!

Kiss me kiss me all night long
I love it when you wear a _______
I'd do anything to be with you
Hey, that dog just took a ______
Airplane seats have headrests,
Wow, you've got the nicest ______
I don't care if you shop at malls,
Vow never to give me blue ______.
I think that's probably far enough.
You get my point.
I love you.

Front: (image:old man in a leather back chair)
Man: 'You have bested the odds, young man, and graduated Highschool.'
Funny, you don't appear to be any smarter.

Front:(image:guy sitting on couch)
Guy:'I love you with all of my body, baby...'
Including my pee-pee.

It's amazing those ones didn't get made into real cards. They're all so heartfelt and sweet.
Here's one I remember writing that DID make it through.

Front: (image:guy on a cliff, with telescope next to him, under a starry sky.)
Guy: 'If you were a star, you'd be the brightest one and you'd shoot across the sky.'
'But you're not. Happy Birthday anyway.'