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Smokin' in the Car

If I smoked ciggies I think the place I'd like smoking most would be my car, the smallest space I inhabit during the day. That way, it's like a surround sound smoke session cause I blow the smoke out, but it has nowhere to go, so it seeps into my car's upholstery, and every time I breath, I can get a second hit off of it.
Windows up, ciggy lit, singing to Annie Lennox.
Ventilation? Never heard of it. Gotta ash? Do it in the Arby's cup from last week. Or maybe just ash in my lap cause clearly I don't care. My gums and teeth are already yellow, what's a little ash in the crotch amongst friends?
Now, as you can tell from my not vey subtle sarcastic stylings, I am not a smoker. And I know that I shouldn't make light of smoking or the strangle hold grip it has on it's millions of victims.
Because smoking is truly an addiction...but ya know what?
So is 'not smoking'.
I've been doin that for 29 years and I just can't seem to shake it.
It's the darnedest thing.

Here's a little ditty you can sing to the next person you see smokin' in the car:

Smokin' in the car
Stinky like a bar
Smokin' in the car
Nicotine and tar

Take a big dump
Wipe it everywhere
Would smell jus' the same
As smokin' in the car