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So Mad

I'm livid right now. Super pissed. Unbelievably angry. So mad I can feel my blood boiling. Eh, that's a bit of a stretch. But it could be boiling, and my anger and temper are both so escalated that I don't even notice it. I'm talking seriously pissed.
And I better get answers. How did it come to this? I'm blown away. I'm flying away in the wind. Blown away. So surreal.
And to think that this can even happen in today's society makes me wanna spit. Hellooo America? Anyone home? Apparently not. Go back to your TV's. Your pets. Your beloved beds and plush sheets and 15 pillows. 1600 count Egyptian baby thread count materials. Take it. Take it all.
Cause I'm livid and I don't care who knows it.
He took it, didnt' he? He took those kids' meals. That guy gets off on stealing from children. Stealing their food. The Hamburgler really stole kids' Hamburgers. How can he do that. How? Cause he's the Hamburgler. Everyone knows he's an effing Burgler. Why's he not in jail?
He's already in the outfit. He broke out I guess. He burgled his way out. It's not like he's even fooling anyone at this point. He's a thief and he's easy to spot cause his head is massively large and usually he's got, like, a hundred burgers flying around him, because he's stolen way too many to eat.
Whatta selfish prick. They're not even good burgers. Go be a SteakBurgler. Or a BloominOnionBurgler. Steal that sauce that comes with the Bloomin Onion.
But a Hamburgler. Showing kids how to aim low. Why steal the good stuff when ya can take the shit? Nobody cares if ya take the Ham, cause guess what? He's still not behind bars. But if that sumbitch starts Burglering Steak from Ruth's Christ.
Boom. Never see him again.

From the Urban Dictionary
Hamburgler
One who deems it appropriate to burgle ham.