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McDonald's Drive Thru Woman

I like 'buddy-movies.' I think they can be funny as hell, action packed, and all around smart. If done right. Twins. Wedding Crashers. Lethal Weapon. Blues Brothers. The Big Lebowski (kinda). If done wrong, you've got Double Team, starring JCVD and Dennis Rodman.
Ya need a Ying and a Yang. Simple as that. Gotta have the fire, gotta have the ice. Ya know, so that the fire can get icey and the ice can get firey.
So, I've found the person that I want to be in a buddy movie with. She works the Drive-Thru window at McDonald's until the wee hours, I guess.
I don't know her name. All I know is that she's got so much personality it slaps you in the face when you order. She's a short round black woman with gold teeth, gold earrings and gold necklaces. She says 'Shoooot' all the time.
I've had a handfull conversations with her and every time I do, I leave laughing my ass off. She's the nicest, funniest, and yet, meanest drive thru person I've ever encountered. On my last trip, about 3 weeks ago, I pulled up to MickeyD's and hoped she was in there. The speaker crackled on.
'Mmmhhhhmmm...whatchuwant, honey, I ain't got all night...shooot, what time is it? Hahaha. I been here all night already.'
It was her. So I pulled around and hotdammit she recognized me. Asked me how I'd been. I did the same. She went off on the economy, then off on the idiot in front of me. She goes off on everything. But she's never pissed. It's so odd.
I want her to be in my buddy movie. And I've started to write it. It would be huge, because of the interracial pairing of the two of us. Like Jackie Chan and Owen Wilson. Mel Gibson and Danny Glover. Except it would be more like Will Ferrell and Wanda Sykes or something.
I think I'd be a janitor at a school and she'd be a P.E. instructor, and we'd witness a murder or a kidnapping and can't rely on the authorities to handle it cause they can't handle shit, so her and I decide to find out what's going on, and there's a reward, and she wants it for a trip to Hawaii for a tetherball tournament, and I want it to make my parents proud of me cause all I do is scrub shitty kids' potties all day and then it gets complicated a little, cause the kidnappers are some other teachers, but not really, and then we spar back and forth, because I'm a white janitor and she thinks I'm lame, and I think she over-reacts at everything and she couldn't beat me in the mile---but we're really like brother and sister.
I think it's got merit. I've mentioned it to her in the drive thru line. She said she'd be up for reading the script, so I've basically green-lit the project. She said she's never acted, but for some reason I don't think it would be a problem for her.
Justin Claus HarderComment