Ode to the Texas State Fair

Hello kind friends, gather round
There's a new thing going down
It's not too big, it's not too bright
Papa gon' win a doll tonight

Oooh the Fair, The Texas State Fair
They've got what you're lookin for
Oooh the Fair, The Texas State Fair
As long as that thing is a whore

What? I said Door. Like Prizes!
Yippeee, hurray! One ring, One win.
Lookit me, now I gotta carry this bigass Bear.
Nope, sorry can't go on any more rides. This Bear won't fit.
Will you hold him for me at the front while I go on the Pink Floyd Magical Journey ride? Yes? Great. Here's my ten, no fifteen tickets? Fifteen tickets? This ride is more than the fried thing? Is fifteen tickets 30 dollars or 7 dollars. Ugh. Take my tickets. My bear better be here when I come back through those fake wooden doors. What? The doors are real. Fine.

Oooh the Fair, The Texas State Fair
Nothin' else can compare
Oooh the Fair, The Texas State Fair
Did you see that a-holes' hair?

It was a mullet for sure, but on the sides it was short and he had the Cowboys stars shaved in. And then a tank top that said 'Bruce' in bright blue graffitti writing and a pair of British Knights with the laces undone. I kinda wanna get a shirt like Bruce's.
Time for the swing ride, 'cause that looks stable. Just a couple of long wires and a kid's high chair seat. This time I can bring the Bear. Bad move. The Bear tosses it's stuffing on me as I cry like a baby. A big floating baby that's afraid of heights. My legs dangle down low and graze that moron's head. What? I'm not controlling how low I dip, Jortsey Magee. Talk to the guy in the tiny booth that's acting like a DJ. We need him though, so don't be too rough. Without him, there wouldn't be anyone here to yell obscene things at every girl that walks by. Oh wait, yea there would. The whole place is filled with DJ's without booths. Goto town.

Oooh the Fair, The Texas State Fair
Corny dogs and funnel cakes
Oooh the Fair, The Texas State Fair
How much more fun can ya take?

Corn on the cob or frito pie? Howsabout we just people-spy? There's a lot to see at the fair. Wait. Are those people looking at us? Why? Is it cause we're not pushing 3 strollers worth of tiny babies and children? I'll go get a stroller and push the Bear in it. Then we'll blend in. Come 'ere Bear, this won't hurt a bit.
One last time, folks, here we gooooo-

Oooh the Fair, The Texas State Fair
Only happens once a year
Oooh the Fair, The Texas State Fair
Thank God for that, it's 7 bucks a beer
Justin Claus HarderComment